Monday, August 23, 2010

New Work Update!

I've posted a new abstract piece on my website:



I made this piece in celebration of my father's birthday last week - and it was received very well. I am definately planning on doing more "caracature abstracts" in the future.

Website Portfolio Link Here

Sunday, August 15, 2010

A Sunday

My birthday party Friday night was fun - although attendance was sparse, everybody had fun with some Telestrations, Dixit & some drinks.

In general I've been a bit distracted this past week...for all the great things going on in my life right now - I haven't been finding any spiritual fulfillment in my day to day life. For all the reading & intellectual efforts I've put in trying to understand faith, spirituality & truth - I've finally realized that it's all bullshit unless you put it into practice in everyday situations. It took somebody this past week helping me make the connection between my MMA training and spirituality to see this...

Let's say 2 years ago I decide I want to learn MMA - how to kickbox, grapple, train to defend myself and get into great shape. Motivation isn't the problem - let's go kick some ass...to the library! I'm going to read every book I can find on the subject - and when I'm not reading I'll sample for sources on the Internet, YouTube videos...and I'm going to be ready to step into a UFC title bout!

Now it's easy to see that this is impossible. Thankfully, 2 years ago I walked into a Tiger Schulmann's gym, signed up for classes - and I've put the mileage on my body to get where I am today. The journey has shaped me into a much more confident, fit & healthy guy. I have received expert mentoring from some of the best in the business. While my learning is never complete, and I continue to develop - I have put the mileage on my body so that I can perform the moves with confidence. You can't get that from a book.

So now I look at my efforts in spiritual practice over the past 3 years - and I'm left wondering why I've settled for the first option. Sure, I've visited some temples on occasion, even happening in on some dharma talks & Buddhist rituals...but I have been trying to learn through intellectual effort. Spiritual development is no different than the physical development of a skill. While it's been definitely helpful for learning the terminology, history, theory & helping me to develop wisdom...it hasn't manifested in the spiritual "blooming" I've been yearning for. I simply haven't got put the miles in - haven't experienced spirit - just read about it in books.

So I took this person's advice, put down the books for a while and did something about it. It was a calm Sunday morning, and I woke up early and headed down to the Zen Center of New York City, a Zendo near Atlantic Terminal in Brooklyn. I was happy to wake up early enough to make a stop at Starbucks for some tea and sketching time before heading down - and I was able to really enjoy the fact that it was a quiet, calm day.

I arrived at the Zendo and was warmly greeted and shown around. Zen Buddhism has always intrigued me, and it's central focus is on self-development of one's mind through Zazen. Zazen is a method of meditation where one focuses on bringing the mind to a stillness - and develop the ability to be present in the moment you find yourself in. For more info: Wiki

The Sunday service began with some liturgy and chanting (a first for me to hear some chanting in English - which doesn't flow as well but helps to make more of a connection to what's actually being said). This was followed by an introductory lecture for us newcomers where we learned some effective postures and some information regarding the temple and goals of zazen, etc... While I knew a lot of what was being said - I was happy to maintain the "beginner's mind" and pick up a lot of valuable pointers.

After the introduction, we rejoined the rest of the students in the main hall for seated zazen, lasting a little over 30 minutes. I was then able to join the group for a 10 minute walking mediation - something I had never done, and was initially skeptical about (ah, the danger of those darn books). I really enjoyed this, and the senior student that gave a discourse afterwards really resonated a lot with how I've been feelings lately.

I can't say it was an overpowering experience when I left the Temple, but I was definitely feeling more connected to the pulse of everything around me. Having planned ahead, I walked the 10 blocks or so to Brooklyn Boulders, for some solo bouldering. My calm state helped me to visualize my routes better, and I was really enjoying completing some difficult V1's that I hadn't done before. I completed about 20 ascents out of 30-35 tries, which made me very happy.

So, in closing it's been a very calming day - and I mean calming in the sense that I feel a lot wiser for coming to the realization that I can't control change - even the good kind. I can't sit here and regret that I hadn't made these realizations sooner. The only thing I can control is what I do with where I find myself now - and for the first time in a long while I can say I find myself with some modicum of serenity.

- Chris

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The History of the Dahlia Hockey League

For my brother's birthday this past July, I cooked up a super secret project - a short comic based on our childhood street hockey days. The book was a real hit, and I've uploaded the complete book to my website.


View The Book: HERE.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Caviar into Steroids

If you've never played the hit new game Telestrations, you're doing yourself a disservice. I picked up in anticipation of Game Night @ Gabe & Auren's place in Rhode Island this past weekend. It ended up being played pretty much throughout the day, and near the end of the night it started getting particularly hilarious.

For those who've never played, the premise is everyone draws a card with 6 possible words, and a die roll decides which word everyone draws on their multi-paged whiteboard book. Then you pass the sketches to your left/right, and those players write a guess as to what the drawing depicts (not knowing the original word). Then players pass the word guess and have to sketch that. Then the books get passed, and another guess..etc until the book gets back to its original owner.

We decided to play one last game at the end of the night, and Lisa draw the word "Caviar". Without further ado, I present a perfectly fine sketch to represent Caviar:



Lisa passed her book to Eli, who started chuckling - writes a word - and then passes the book to Gabe, trying not to burst out in laughter. His guess: Menopause

Gabe gets the book, and starts bursting out in laughter and was joined by Eli to the point where Eli fell off the couch in tears...and nobody really knew wise. So Gabe did his best to convey the word:



I am the lucky soul to get this hilarious sketch, and now I start laughing to the point of tears, and I end up with barely enough sand left in the timer to make a guess. While I think I could have come up with a much better guess, I was laughing so hard and in a rush, so my guess was Female Hormone Suppressant

Alexandra gets the book, laughter naturally ensues and she sketches the following:



Alex passed the book to Nate (laughter of course ensues), who guesses Testosterone, and chuckles profusely as he hands the book to his wife Beth. Beth does her best to contain herself as she sketches this gem:



Yes, that is an injection directly into a penis...

Mike then gets the book, practically wets himself with laughter and makes the final guess: Steroids

Upon Lisa's revealing of the book, we were all in stiches as everyone was in on the whole joke. The quote of the night came from Gabe to Eli: "You made me draw menopause!!!"

What a fun time, and the closing game was absolutely epic.

- Chris

Selfish & Vicious?

A few weeks ago, my dad said something very interesting to me. I don't remember the quote verbatim, so I'm paraphrasing a bit here... "you know, I really feel like the world is becoming a more selfish and viscous place." In context, we were talking about the demands we've been finding on our time, and recent dealings with people in general.

At first, I agreed with my father's sentiments as they to a large degree sum up my feelings lately. Living in New York City, I'm constantly faced with a deluge of people that either rude, ignorant or both. Yet, I found myself contemplating what he said for the better part of the last week. There's a lot implied by a simple sentence like that, and I think there's a lot that lurks under the surface that deserves a lot of attention. It's more of an emotional reaction than a factual statement, and I surprised myself at how much my perceptions changed as I dug deeper into it.

So I looked into this thought, and asked myself "is the world today that much more selfish and/or viscous today?". I think in large part, the statement depends on context...too often, people (myself included) tend to be short-sighted on this very notion of context. Yeah, I think it's easy to say things are a lot more selfish and vicious feeling today if the sample size is narrow enough. For me, the world was a lot simpler and easier when I was a kid. Now that I'm in my late 20's and playing the role of "adult", this statement is easy to justify. Even trying to step into my dad's shoes, it could be very easy to justify that the world was a much saner and comfortable place. He's surrounded by different people, different situations (he's only got 1 kid still in the house instead of 4), a lot more responsibilities, risks, experiences, not to mention now that he's hit 50 there's an increased possibility of (knocking on the proverbial wood) health issues, increased insurance premiums, retirement, (as good a place as any to throw the words massive recession out there). So yeah, trying to put myself in his position, it's EASY to make that statement and honest-to-goodness believe it. However, I felt like I was taking the wrong approach, I don't think the comment was meant to reflect on our own personal lives, but rather as a broad brush on today's society.

Has "modern society" given in to feeling justified as selfish and self-serving as everyone else; "Damn the masses, I'm going to get mine come hell or high water". My initial reaction is to say that soooo many people in this day and age have come to this conclusion, it's easy to see it everywhere. But, is this feeling more prevalent now than it was in the past?

I think what underlies all of this is technology - the major driving force behind the majority of societal change. My personal experience with the effects of technology has been the "coming of age" of the Internet. I was born in 1982, so I basically grew up as the Internet did. By the time I was in high school, its true potential was being realized. I got my first cell phone at 17 and being heavily involved in technology since my youth I've been intimately intertwined with the amazing amount of technology advancement in the past 2 decades. I think it's relevant to mention all of this, because with these advancements in communication and information technology, it's fundamentally altered how we communicate and interact. Our world today has become one where we're literally bombarded with information on a regular basis, and one where it becomes very easy to feel like an insignificant cog that's got to fight to get above water & get what's ours.

We're plugged in pretty much every minute of every day, always anxious that we're going to miss out on something. We're forced to digest the myriad of information thrown at us so fast, that we've all become extremely adept to filtering it in quick little parcels, easy to throw it in the trash or hit the delete key. "It's not worth our time". I think this has made us more attuned to quick bits of information rather than longer, thoughtful transmissions of ideas. This anxiety doesn't allow us the freedom to sit with a particular issue/item/experience long enough to seek its true breadth. We're constantly looking forward to the next e-mail/issue/entertainment/item/etc... long story short -- we make ourselves this busy for fear of falling out of "the know".

Bringing it back to the comment at hand, I think everyone's got a lot more built-in excuses for being selfish. We spend less time meaningfully interacting with people because we're "busy". The pace of today's society is such that it takes a larger and larger percentage of our time, energy & resources to maintain our status, that often we resort to quick facebook updates or text messages to maintain contact. We feel comforted that we have hundreds of facebook friends, or e-mail "contacts" -- but how many of those people have you just sat down and had a real experience with in the past 6 months? a year?

What I'm trying to get at is that all this time being "busy" makes us seem selfish and self-absorbed. It's not completely true though, we're simply absorbed in all of our technology. It's a surrogate, not the real experience. I find myself more and more cherishing time spend around a board game with friends, a beer with a buddy, walks in the park, etc...than I spend checking my RSS feeds, filtering through friend's status updated and FarmVille accomplishments on Facebook (which I can't stand by the way), and I haven't touched on work e-mail yet...

So I don't think it's so much that we've become more selfish and viscous towards each other - I just think that the pace of life has blurred things so they seem that way. For as many burdens as technology may place on our time, it also opens up so many more opportunities. Access to knowledge and information is always becoming easier and easier, the spread of ideas are wider and quicker. For as much as this technology has added to our responsibilities and invaded into our personal time, it's also done much more to improve humanity on a global scale - the exact opposite of making the world more selfish and vicious.

I feel that the world has a way of self-balancing - writing, printing presses, radio and television have all had fundamental influences on humanity...and the internet is just the next stage in that evolution. Humans are still left with the fundamental choice on how we react within the situations we find ourselves in: situations that are increasingly infused with technology. I feel that the majority of people don't intend to be selfish or vicious, but we need to put in additional effort to get through the noise those technologies add to our lives.

- Chris

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Yorkville

It's my last day in Yorkville, and I've been feeling some mixed emotions. I'm pretty much packed up, tomorrow's moving day. I just got engaged on Saturday, and Alexandra and I will be sharing OUR first apartment together in a few days - so things are definitely very exciting around here. But, I can't help but reflect on the past year with some uncertainty.

My move to Yorkville last summer was made for a simple reason. I was determined to live my life on the terms and in a method that were my own. It was the first place I could call MINE for as long as I can remember. No roommates or co-habitants like college and the years that followed. Yorkville symbolized a fresh start from a failed marriage, a way to break free of all those memories and create something new with Alexandra.

This apartment isn't anything all too special, a small ground-floor studio facing the street - no place for an air conditioner, a bit noisy at times, ok neighbors, 4" of counter space...but it became a home. My plan all along was only to stay here for a year, get myself sorted out, and as a bonus I was close to my girl's place. A year later I'm moving to a larger apartment, better in every way...yet I still find myself feeling a bit bummed I'm leaving this place.

I've done this moving thing a lot. I did the math the other day, and this will be my 20th permanent move in my 28 years. I'm so used to fresh starts, and be every definition this is another one...but why does this one feel different?

Truth is, I don't know. This apartment will remain a fond memory, but not one I'm going to cling to. I know better than to get too attached to where I've been, and all I can control is where I find myself in the present. Maybe it's in our wiring to miss where we've called home when we're setting off to someplace new.

You know, this kind of feels like when I left for college.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Featured on the Scribble Project blog

CLICK HERE FOR LINK

My work was featured on the Scribble Project blog today!

- Chris

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The 1995 "Chris" Set

This is simply so good I had to share. So I'm working on a super-secret project, which required me to go through some old stuff. Whilst going through said stuff, I came across a bunch of hard plastic trading card cases. I pulled them out and I found a bunch of old hockey "cards" that I drew back in 1995, when I was 13 years old!

This was quite a set, a "who's who" of hockey in the 1994-95 NHL:


Doug Gilmour - Brendan Shanahan - Martin Brodeur - Theoren Fleury - Mike Modano - Jason Arnott - Chris Pronger


Wayne Gretzky - Pavel Bure - Alexandre Daigle - Mario Lemieux - Teemu Selanne - Guy Carbonneau - Eric Lindros - Brett Hull

I love that I actually tried to put some of my own style into the backgrounds: the simple two-tone color blocks behind each logo, the simple borders for names and position (and of course my "95 Chris" branding).

As much as I miss being a kid, finding stuff like this just hardens my resolve that when I have kids - I'm going to just give them a box of markers and let them go to town...

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Such a Schmuck

This afternoon I headed out to Tiger Schulmann's, ready for another night of training. There's no questioning the routine: it's Thursday afternoon and I was geared up to go. I stuffed my now-dry grappling shirts and pants, stuffed them in my bag full of kickboxing gear and slung the 30 pounds over my shoulder. I checked my pockets: wallet, phone, keys...check check and check. I grabbed my iPod, threw in my headphones - the same headphones that got water damaged this past Sunday and only the left earbud works. I put both earbuds in anyway - my little signal to the world that I don't want to be bothered with you. I've got that look in my eye...that look of determination and single-minded focus on getting to TSK and pushing myself. I threw on any random tune and headed out.

As I walked down York Ave, I blew right past one of those obnoxious kids from Children's International trying to get me to stop and save the children - I was glad I had both earbuds in: a clear sign I wanted nothing to do with him or his sales pitch...he leaves me alone. I manage to catch the M79 headed to the subway - the bus is half empty so I hop on to save a few minutes. I am absorbed in a game of Blokus, and barely remember to get off the bus @ Lexington Ave. I hop off the bus and walk back to the corner to walk the 2 blocks to the 6 train downtown. I see an old woman leaning onto the garbage can on the corner, cane draped over one shoulder. She's wearing a one-piece pink dress that goes down to her ankles - I pay little attention as I walk around her - I hear muffled speak through my non-functional earbud. I assume she's asking for change - I'm sad, but I'm resolute. It's a personal policy that I don't endorse begging, or selling candy on the subway, or subway car acrobatics/singing/preaching, or people who try and stop you on the sidewalks asking you to support a cause/politician/starving children half a world away. I remain in my own world - I distract myself with the tunes in my left ear and ignore the woman behind me. I hear her say something to someone behind me..."I don't want to bother you, sir...". I continue living in the assumption that she's begging - I can't wait for the light to change and walk away from it. Then she taps the bag slung over my shoulder, with reluctance I pull the earbuds out of my ears and turn to her - as kindly as I can muster - completely prepared to tell her I won't give her any money...

"Can you please help me across the street sir?"

I take a second, and I say to myself: "You're such a schmuck, Chris."

I throw on a smile, "Of Course, Ma'am." I shift my bag, hold out my right arm and she grabs around my elbow, and I escort her around the cars and trucks that cheated the red light and force us to navigate through the crosswalk carefully. She extols about how crazy New York drivers are, and she's thankful for my help. "You must not have heard me with all that music.", she says. I make up a lame excuse that I had turned it up because their was a bunch of loud kids on the quiet bus I was just on. The crossing completed without incident, she thanked me in such a sincere way that my heart was calmed. The ignorance I initially showed her was forgotten - she was simply grateful for my assisstance. I wished her a pleasant day - and she return my wishes in kind. We parted ways as I weaved through my fellow pedestrians the 2 blocks to the 77th Street station.

I swiped my Metrocard, and waited for the subway - still contemplating what just occurred. "Am I really so negatively conditioned to this city?", I asked myself. I presume everyone's out to try and sell me on something, beg me for something, to bother me. I realize that this city's makes me act coldly sometimes. I realize that it's not entirely me being a schmuck when I ignored the woman - I honestly did not hear her clearly...but I instantly recalled my buddhist & taoist learnings regarding how something's true nature can be obscured by approaching it with pretenses and assumptions. I just assumed that the noise in my ear was begging, based on preconceived notions of someone learning on a garbage can - and those assumptions can cause misunderstandings which lead to guilt and regret.

I realize that there's no harm done - ultimately I did the right thing and performed the right action with the right mindset. I realize that this was the world's way of teaching me a lesson in awareness - true awareness cannot come by maintaining some insular mindset.

It cannot come by tuning out the world with an iPod.

I realize that I'm not a schmuck - I'm just a human that needs to tune out less often.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Coney Island

Alexandra and I spent Memorial Day with a fun trip out to Coney Island. She's never been, so I was totally excited to introduce her to the controlled chaos.

We had a fun subway ride (6 to Atlantic Terminal - transfer to the Q to CI), then witnessed how much its changed these past 2 years. Luna Park looks fantastic, but the rides aren't done yet and its mostly geared toward the little tykes. A lot of the old arcades and booths are closed down now, probably run out of town by landlords banking on buyouts for new developments.

We immediately headed over to the cyclone (always do this before food), where we got our brains rattled and we escaped with our lives intact. Next we walked the boardwalk and beach, navigating through wave after wave of fat, out of shape people wearing far too little bathing suit. If you don't believe americans are generally getting fatter and lazier, take a trip to CI this summer.



Next, we got some old school photo booth photos, and played some skee ball. I got to teach Alex some neat tricks to improve her game - and we won enough tickets to buy some skee ball Power Rings.



I later found and old Ms. Pac Man machine in decent condition (set to fast mode just how I like it). After showing off my skills, we went and got some Nathan's. It was way too crowded, but it's funny how much it didn't matter. I was where I wanted to be, with the person I wanted to be with, there was no reason to let the fact that everyone in line was shoulder-to-shoulder - I was happy. We each got a hot dog, shared a corn dog, some fries and an orangeade. It was pretty damn tasty:



We walked it off on the boardwalk, noticing how crazy the beach was:



While it was a great day, I think it's best to avoid Coney on holidays from now on...for as long as it's still there.