I heard of this book through a Buddhist blog I casually read - and thought the concept was very interesting. Brad Warner, an ordained Soto Zen Priest, promises to provide, "A Buddhist exploration of sex, from celibacy to poluamory and Everything in Between". I gave the book a casual scan in the bookstore - seeing the title next to some other of his books, and it seemed to ask some interesting questions; for example: can monks masturbate?, what is the buddhist attitudes towards abortion?, is pornography a bad thing?
I picked it up based more out of curiosity than anything else - and it would be nice to get back on a Buddhist reading kick. Lately I've found myself heavily entwined with taoism and varying philosophical works by the likes of David Foster Wallace and Henry David Thoreau.
This book blew away every expectation I had of it right from the start. Throughout the book, Brad discusses the heart of buddhist philosophy and history with amazing clarity. His approach is very honest, and he does not separate his discussions from own history and feelings. Throughout the book you get a very lucid taste of his view on things - and he does not abuse this by saying you should believe him. I guess in a way you can call this a sneaky book at times - it uses sex more as a tool in order to discuss much more poignant spiritual and philosophical matters, for example:
The idea of avoiding preferences doesn't mean that we need to be complacent and leave even the worst situations in life just as they are. The first step in effectively changing something that clearly needs to be changed is accepting the way it actually is. Then we can do what needs doing to make things different without wasting a lot of energy wishing things already were different. - Pg. 201
This book not only made me consider aspects of sexuality and relationships, but really helped clear up a lot of spiritual misconceptions and issues I had with my prior inquiries into Buddhism and Zen. Brad does a fantastic job of distilling extremely complex issues in such a way that the reader can come to their own conclusions and be okay with them. I didn't agree with everything he writes in the book, but the honesty of the discussions in the book provided a framework for me to understand other sides of the issues and philosophies.
I am very thankful I picked this book up off the shelf...I feel that it's helped me put a lot of complicated issues from my own light into a very manageable perspective. It's allowed me to be more open and honest with my own thoughts and emotions - and not just in regards to sex, but with religion, philosophical inquiry, relationships, politics, social constructs, and living compassionately.
All that being said, I don't think I'd recommend this book to anybody. People need to come to this book with a very open mind - and be comfortable going into some really heavy subjects like abortion, homosexuality, celibacy and polyamory. I do think it's a fantastic book for someone interested in sexuality and Buddhism. I was very intrigued at how Brad writes in such a way that you don't need to have studied tons of Buddhist texts to understand the keys of the philosophy. It's a far better starting point than many of the books on Buddhism I've already read.
- Chris
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