Bar Mitzvah Speech

My brother recently became a Bar Mitzvah, a very important achievement in his life - and many family and friends gathered to celebrate with him. As the oldest brother, I felt a strong obligation to give a speech at the event. I gave the speech with some reservations, being that I'm not Jewish - but I felt the message was too important to hold back based on those grounds. The speech seemed to really strike people, and I'm glad to have had the opportunity. For posterity and without further comment, my unabridged speech:


First and foremost, Mazal Tov on your Bar Mitzvah! Like everyone else, I'm very proud of the effort you've put in over the past few years to prepare for this day. Now, take a second to look around you. You've managed to get about a hundred people gathered in a room, celebrating in your honor. On top of that, you've managed to separate all of them from some of their hard earned cash! Sure makes up for the ritual circumcision and years of Hebrew school, doesn't it?

I know it’s been tricky for us to build our relationship as brothers, since you're more than half my age and I left home ten years ago. However, I'm sure our relationship will get a lot better in the all too near future when I'm going through my mid-life crisis and I start calling you at college begging to hang out. Nowadays, the time we get to spend together is a lot of fun, but it's rare we get the opportunity to talk about the heavy stuff. Matters of the spirit like religion, faith, and philosophy. I know when I was thirteen, I never talked about these things at all. That's why I've insisted on standing here tonight, to provide some words of caution and words of encouragement, and forgoing the golden opportunity to embarrass you in front of all your friends.

When I was about your age, I performed the Catholic Rite of Confirmation. I did this less out of choice, than out of obligation…it was what you were supposed to do. While I had to do a bit of work to prepare for the occasion, it was nowhere near the commitment needed to prepare for a Bar Mitzvah. I did it in a catholic school gym with a bunch of other kids, and we all got to it all in English! For all of its supposed significance, my Confirmation was pretty much void of honest spirituality. I felt no connection to the beliefs of the religion I was "confirming", and it was after that day I made the decision that it wasn't for me. With the benefit of hindsight I realize how it was a big mistake to shut myself off from spirituality with that decision. It was more than a dozen years after that Confirmation when I discovered religions and philosophies that deeply resonated with me, inspired me and drove me to focus much of my thoughts and energies on such matters, and to do so passionately. I say all of this to give you perspective on why I must caution you to not spend the next decade ignoring spirituality like I did.

In many ways I envy you and the opportunity you have before you. It's my hope that you are encouraged by all of your studies and this event to never stop investigating the deeper matters. Don't let the many wonders and wisdoms of spirituality and philosophy become part-time endeavors, as things to lean on during difficult or convenient times. Don't look upon your Bar Mitzvah as a destination, as an end to a long period of intense study. Look on it as a celebration of your faith, on becoming morally and ethically responsible for your actions. I encourage you to use today as a springboard into a life of seeking. Seeking to understand yourself, seeking to understand Judaism, seeking the answers to those really big questions that all too often go unasked.

Your Proud Brother, Chris