Friday
- Friday night I decided to get some extra training in at Tiger's. I was told there would be high-belt classes where we could perfect finer points of our technique. Turns out it was just a ploy to get people to show up for Friday night classes. Regardless of the fact I was one of the higher-ranked people in the class, my hour of grappling, followed by an hour kickboxing provided a lot of practice on techniques that had been giving me fits all week (open guard from ground with a standing opponent & creating angles while kickboxing).
- Met up with Alexandra and Krista @ Cosi's afterwards - where I had probably the best smoothie ever (Strawberry with protein & yogurt). I'm sure the "best smoothie ever" was partially due to being sapped of fluids for 2 hours in a really hot dojo, but damn did it taste good.
Saturday
- Met up with future bridal-party member Brian for some golf @ the Dunwoodie Golf Course in Yonkers, NY. It's only the 2nd time I've been on a course all year, and I knew I needed to practice for a future outing where I don't want to embarass myself. Anyway, it was also the first time Brian and I just "went golfing"...and it was bit bizarre because the Brian and Chris that hung out at Mahopac High 10 years ago would have chuckled about how "adult" we were. I was glad we got to walk the course, even though there were a lot of hills, as it was really pretty awesome. Lots of tree cover, interesting terrain, and great weather. I played the best round of golf in my life, hitting a 105 that included several pars and bogeys. A bunch of tricks I had learned from Gabe last week while in Rhode Island were a huge help, and cut at LEAST 20 strokes off my score - so kudos to him. Brian would probably prefer his score not be made public knowledge :)
- That evening, Brian, Christine & myself, grabbed some burgers @ Rambling House, an awesome pub in the Bronx - before they so graciously drove me back home to the UES.
Sunday
- I went with Alexandra and her family to the Scandinavian Festival in The-Middle-Of-Nowhere, NJ. (Neecong, NJ). While the event was scandinavian enough in flavor - it was basically an excuse for a lot of vendors to sell Scandinvian-themed objects that unless directly imported from a Norse land, usually had Made in China stamped to the back. There was some fantastic Scandinavian cuisine, accompanied by such Norse classics as Italian Ice, Kettle Corn, Funnel Cakes, Fried Oreos, Meat Kebabs & Lemonade *groan*. While I was able to get some tastings of Lingenberries, Sweedish Meaty Breadballs, Red Cabbage and Bread Crackers in - it did seem a bit disengenuous to not put more focus on ethnic cuisine.
- Alexandra quickly signed us up for the 1st Annual Wife Carrying Contest - a request that I would be hard-pressed to deny for 2 logically-sound reasons:
1. It would be painfully obvious that her family would deem me unworthy of their daughter should I refuse to participate. (As Alex put it: "If you can carry me, you can marry me")
2. I routinely wrestle and kickbox with guys in the 170-200 pound range, so carrying my much lighter fiancee shouldn't be that tough, right?
- Besides, who doesn't like feeling like a "donkey" once in a while? Thankfully the competition was at the end of the day's festivities, after the warrior "reenactors" did their best "reenacting" of battles with wooden sticks covered in foam and duct tape. We lined up in the center "pen", and were quickly surrounded by about 500 rabid fans, and we were all introduced to: The Course:
1. Leave pen with woman somehow attached to your person - as fast as possible (you're being timed, after all!)
2. Turn corner (so as to realize how difficult it is to change course with another person attached to your person)
3. Football Tire-Stepping Drill with 5 Small tires (if you had size 14 feet you'd realize how things like this make "Klutz Kreuter" nervous) This is supposed to emulate sneaking out of the town with your chosen woman to avoid the townsfolk noticing
4. Turn corner and jump The Hurdles. (Log on ground, Log 1 Foot off of ground, Log 2 Feet off of ground). This is supposed to emulate jumping over animal pens of sort
5. Run 20 feet or so through a winding path of trees This is supposed to emulate...oh whatever you get the point by now...
6. Climb up and back down a 3 tiered box structure (which must have been built by a one-eyed dwarf after one hell of bender - because this was the shoddiest piece of craftsmanship since I helped my buddy Dan build that platform bed last year)
7. Jump into and run through 2 Large kids wading pools, filled with 1 foot of water each. (Note pools had rims that were about 2 feet high. Also note that pools are last obstacle, conveniently placed where your legs are absolutely BURNING in agony. Also note that pools are made of plasic, and with my engineering education I realized quickly that water + rubber + plastic = LOW FRICTION ENVIRONMENT)
8. Finish back in pen
- I will note here that we both had to sign a waiver, and the geniouses that planned this thing at LEAST had the foresight to buy a helmet for the women to wear...but this really was flirting with disaster.
- Anyway, Alex and I decided to go with what we termed the Modified Fireman's Carry, as opposed to such classics as the Estonian Wife Carry or the Piggy-Back Carry. We got to race in the middle of the pack, and we were encouraged that I seemed to have a pretty good shot at winning Alex's weight in beer (I think this is the first mention that this is the prize for winning this gong-show...but it really didn't matter for reasons #1 & #2 above - so I neglected to mention it).
- So I raced out of the gate, the fasest start yet! The announcer apparently made a mention of this saying "He must really want that beer", but all I heard was the THUD THUD THUD of my bare feet tramping the earth - I was in The Zone. I rounded the corner, hopped through the tires quickly, but cautiously given the whole "giant-feet" thing...and then set my mind to The Hurdles.
- It's at this point where I forgot many important physics lessons, including - but certainly not limited to:
A. Weight Distribution
B. Centers of Gravity
C. Momentum
D. Pivot Points
- I cleared the first 2 hurdles without a problem...except that I was going WAY TOO FAST. I assure you that right now you've underestimated how fast I was going: I WAS GOING WAAAAAYYYYY TOO FAST. I had about 0.0001 seconds to decide if I was going to stop and step over the 2 food hurdle, or just jump it and hope for the best. Those of you that know me are already shuddering - knowing I picked the latter option.
- I cleared the hurdle with style (but devoid of any grace whatsoever), and landed with all of my weight (and Alexandra's) way way way way to far in front of my Giant Feet. This caused a Center-of-Gravity nightmare, where no matter how fast me feet tried to keep up - I was completely aware that were were going down.
- At this point Alex must have known what was up because she was like a cat. As I tripped over my big toe (which did try valiantly to catch up - but failed) she sprung from my shoulders and immediately went into a ninja roll 10 feet in front of me - which was prompted with a loud, collective "ooohhhhh...." from the pretty supportive crowd. I wasted no time mulling the fall (a 15 second penalty), and got right back up into a full run towards Alex, already standing and ready to go...I just grabbed her legs and slung her over my shoulder - I don't even think I spoke...I just channeled my inner Norseman and was determined to finish this thing.
- Needless to say the rest of the course was painful, but we forced through it, with Alexandra holding on for dear life with every limb and joint she could...and we finished in 52 seconds (after the penalty). The winning time was 31 seconds, meaning without the fall we would have been close...but the tournament wasn't without controversey as the winner's "woman" had to weight far less than the 108-lb minimum...but all 26 competing pairs maintained the good-spirited nature of the competition, and watched the winner take home a measly 4 cases of beer.
- We ended up getting interviewed for a local NJ paper (since she's from NJ), and wait...there's more:
- I was treated to plenty of shoulder rubs and pampering the rest of the day for all my hard work though, and not to mention the event has helped endear me more to my future in-laws and escpecially my fiancee.
- We took NJ Transit home on the Gladstone Branch - a line I've never been on before. It was a really pleasant train ride though some fantastic greenery - a really relaxing cap on a great day.
Monday
- Monday was spent with a gathering of buddies @ Sheep's Meadow in Central Park - to enjoy a picnic and outdoor board gaming. Our group consisted of 8 people, where we enjoyed lots of snacks - and some games of Blokus, Telestrations, Dominion and Kill Dr. Lucky. It was as relaxing and fun a day as I ever remember having on Labor Day.
What a weekend!
- Chris
Posts
1 comment:
Wow, sounds awesome! Love the TV coverage. Why can't all weekends be as fun and action packed as this?
Post a Comment